


throwaway

by jensenacklesruinedmylife



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Canon-Typical Violence, Demons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Protective Boyfriends, Relationship Reveal, Romance, Secret Relationship, Takes place sometime during season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24660220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensenacklesruinedmylife/pseuds/jensenacklesruinedmylife
Summary: Underhill knew everyone would find out eventually.It's not exactly a secret, but he likes to keep his business to himself for the most part, especially when it comes to relationships. He's not upset that it's happening this way, but he would have rather done it on his own time, you know?Thetimingis horrendous.
Relationships: Lorenzo Rey/Andrew Underhill
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	throwaway

**Author's Note:**

> _Baby, take my hand and I'll show you the way  
>  Bring you a little closer, tell you it's okay  
> I don't wanna be something you can throw away  
> ...  
> And I'm falling so hard for you  
> Would you be there to catch me, too?_  
> \- Throwaway (with Clairo) by SG Lewis

Underhill knew everyone would find out eventually.

It's not exactly a secret, but he likes to keep his business to himself for the most part, especially when it comes to relationships. He's not upset that it's happening this way, but he would have rather done it on his own time, you know?

The _timing_ is horrendous.

It’s a busy Wednesday night at the New York Institute; demons have been spotted all over the city, random sightings of only one or two at a time, and no one knows why that is or where they’re coming from. Isabelle, the underrated genius that she is, figures out where they are originating from, and teams are put together and sent out take them down. Most of the shadowhunters leave in pairs, but Underhill is called upon to join Jace, Izzy, and Clary to scope out the possible origin point.

“Alec has to stay behind in case the demons make their way toward the Institute,” Isabelle explains when he gets to the Ops center. “Let’s gear up.”

“You sure you want me?” Underhill asks as they gather their weapons, “I might be a bit rusty.”

“There’s no one here that I trust more,” Alec says, eyes focused on one of the screens in the room. On the screen is a map, tracking the movements of the demons around the city. Alec turns after a minute to look at Underhill, hands clasped behind his back, “I know it’s been a while since you’ve been out in the field, but you’ve kept up with your training, right?”

“Of course, sir,” Andrew answers easily, sheathing his chosen seraph blade and tightening his thigh holster.

“Typical Shadowhunter, always ready for duty.”

Underhill whips around at the sound of a _very_ familiar voice and is almost shocked to see his boyfriend stride into the room through a portal.

“Ren? I mean, uh – Mr. Rey, what are you doing here?”

Lorenzo raises a questioning eyebrow at the formal use of his name, but no one else seems to notice as Alec explains his presence.

“I called him,” Alec states, “With all these demons loose I wanted to make sure our wards are reinforced. Looking at the map, there doesn’t seem to be much sense to where the demons are going, but they’re too close to the Institute to take any chances.”

“Don’t we usually call Magnus for that?” Underhill asks, and as soon as the words are out of his mouth, he wants to slap himself. Lorenzo crosses his arms and huffs, clearly displeased.

“ _Magnus Bane_ is no longer the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and therefore, these things are now my responsibility. Is that a problem, Andrew?”

Jace, Isabelle, and Alec all turn their heads at the use of his first name. Clary doesn’t notice, too new to realize that no one calls him that. Well, no one expect his new boyfriend.

“No, no, I just…” Andrew clears his throat, heat creeping up his neck. “I just didn’t expect to see you, is all.”

The last time Underhill saw the warlock was three days prior, when they had breakfast in the courtyard of Lorenzo’s mansion.

After spending their first night together.

Andrew doesn’t regret that night, or the morning after, but he worried that things were moving a bit too fast. It’s been a couple years since his last serious relationship, and he has a feeling Lorenzo isn’t the _fling_ type, so he wants to do this right. He hadn’t planned on sleeping with the man after their fourth date, but after a few drinks and Lorenzo whispering sweet nothings into his ear _in Spanish_ the entire night, Andrew decided he didn’t want to wait. In the morning, they discussed dating each other exclusively, and Andrew, still in a haze of post-sex bliss, had happily agreed.

_“I feel silly asking this but, do you want to be my boyfriend?”_

_“I’d like that, hermoso. I’d like that very much.”_

He doesn’t regret it, but after sobering up completely later that day, he’d realized that his relationship with the warlock was new, and fast, and _different,_ and he isn’t sure what he’s doing or how to do it and, well. In summation, he hasn’t spoken to Lorenzo since he left that morning, distracted by work and his own stupid nerves, wondering if this thing with the warlock is just too good to be true. Now, the man himself stands in front of him, wearing a fitted burgundy suit with velvet detailing that makes him look absolutely stunning and Underhill’s stomach is in knots.

The universe is a cruel, cruel place.

Alec looks between the two men suspiciously before speaking up again. “Magnus is out of the country visiting an old friend, but he’s only a call away if we need help.”

“I’m certain I can handle it myself,” Lorenzo boasts, but at the side-eye he gets from Alec, he adds, “But, should I need assistance, Magnus will be the first warlock I call.”

“Two warlocks are better than one, right?” Clary pipes up, sliding her knives into their holster on her hips.

Lorenzo hums, smiling tightly at the redhead as she bounces out of the room. Jace follows her, glancing back and furrowing his brows at Underhill, as if to say, _Dude, what the hell?_

Andrew sighs and looks away, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck nervously.

“We head out in five,” Isabelle announces, her heels clicking across the floor. She sends Underhill a sympathetic glance, then grabs her brother by the arm and shoves him gently out the door with her, leaving Lorenzo and Andrew alone in the weapons room.

“I’m sorry,” Underhill blurts as soon as he’s sure everyone else is out of ear shot. The doors are still open, but most people are too busy running back and forth and tracking demon activity to pay any attention to what’s going on, he thinks.

“If you didn’t want to see me again, you could have simply told me as such.”

The warlock’s tone makes Andrew wince, and he knows he royally fucked up. He hopes he can redeem himself, however, because the thought of losing Lorenzo, before they’ve even truly had a chance to figure things out, makes his chest ache.

“That’s not what I meant –.”

“I haven’t heard from you since our morning together,” Lorenzo accuses, keeping his voice low, “I’m not an imbecile, Andrew. I know when I’m not wanted, and I am _not_ something you can simply throw away once you’ve had your fun.”

“That’s not it at all!” Underhill insists, taking wide steps to close the gap between them. When he’s a foot away he reaches out, but he hesitates and drops his hands. He swears there’s a flash of disappointment on Lorenzo’s face before it hardens again.

“Then what is it?” the warlock asks pointedly, “One day, you’re asking me to be your boyfriend, the next, it’s as if you’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I’m much too old for these games, Andrew.”

The warlock doesn’t budge at all, keeps his arms crossed and his chin held high, and Underhill suddenly feels a lot younger than he is. Serves him right, going about this like an indecisive teenager.

“I promise I’m not playing games with you, Lorenzo, I… ” Underhill starts, still unsure what to say. He takes a deep breath then and reaches out again, this time wrapping his hands around Lorenzo’s upper arms. He looks at the man in front of him and decides to be honest. He owes him that much.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispers, squeezing that other man’s arms for emphasis. “I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you since Sunday. I don’t have a good excuse, I’ve been a total idiot.”

“Mhm,” Lorenzo hums in agreement, still looking unimpressed.

“Look, I definitely, _definitely_ want you, I guess I’m just… this is all so new, and I’m worried we’re moving a little fast and… I feel like –.”

“You’re nervous,” Lorenzo realizes, squinting at Andrew. “I didn’t think shadowhunters ever got nervous.”

“Well, we aren’t supposed to,” Andrew shrugs, thumbs massaging the warlock’s biceps, “but we are part mundane, and some things can’t be helped.”

Lorenzo’s face softens slightly. “I know dating someone of another species can be… a bit of an adjustment. If this is too fast for you, or too much, we don’t have to –.”

Underhill shakes his head, interrupting Lorenzo’s words, “It’s not too much, it’s just… it’s an adjustment, like you said. But I like where we are. I’m just out of practice, I think, so I got nervous about...well, everything.”

“Ah, has it been a while since you’ve had a lover?”

“Oh, no, I’ve had plenty of those.”

Lorenzo raises an eyebrow, but Underhill ignores it. They are _not_ having that conversation yet.

“Those weren’t serious,” he continues, “I never cared about those men for more than a night. But this…this is special.”

Lorenzo uncrosses his arms then, letting Underhill grasp both of his hands.

“I’m mesmerized by you, Ren. You’re so intelligent, and powerful, and cultured, and artistic, and interesting, and I want to get to know you more. I never thought I could afford to have a serious relationship here, but... I mean if the Head of the Institute can make it work, I can at least try, right?”

Finally, _finally_ , Lorenzo smiles at him, and Underhill feels a weight lift off his shoulders. He could watch that man smile for days on end and never get tired of the sight.

“We can try, yes,” he says, “As long as you promise to talk to me when you’re feeling overwhelmed or nervous. Let me be here for you.”

“I will,” Andrew promises, pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug. When they separate, Lorenzo keeps his arms around Underhill’s waist, while Underhill wraps his arms around the warlock’s shoulders, fingers brushing against the ponytail at the back of his head.

It’s then that an alarm sounds from the Ops center, and both men let go of each other to jog over to where Alec and the others are standing in front of one of the large screens.

“That’s a proximity alarm,” Underhill states, hand already on the handle of his seraph blade. “Something demonic is getting too close.”

“What if this was their plan all along?” Isabelle asks out loud, “Spread the demons out far and wide so that they could attack the Institute while we’re all out on mission?”

“Demons aren’t that smart,” Alec replies.

“You’d be surprised,” Lorenzo counters, “Never underestimate a demon.”

“You guys, look!” Clary yells, pointing up toward the vents in the celling. An eerie black smoke is seeping out. At first, it looks harmless, but then the smoke begins to thicken, blocking the light coming in from the windows.

“They’re here,” Jace snarls, whipping out his sword and holding it confidently in front of him.

“Everyone, defense positions, now!” Alec orders to the few shadowhunters milling about, and they immediately obey, running to their battle stations with their weapons drawn. His bow and quiver materialize as he readies an arrow and points it up toward the smoke. He lets it fly and the smoke recedes as the arrow slices through the air. On instinct, Underhill pulls out his glowing blade, flipping it up and gripping it tightly in his palm, ready for a fight.

“In all my years, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a demon do something like this,” Lorenzo comments from beside him. His hands glow yellow as he summons his magic.

“That can’t be good,” Underhill retorts as his mind races to figure how the hell this is happening. _Is the roof not warded well enough?_ He makes a mental note to ask about that, and to widen the proximity perimeter. This demon got in _way_ too easily. 

“Clary, you think your sunlight rune will work on this thing?” Jace asks, eyes still fixed on the slowly moving smoke above their heads.

“One way to find out,” she utters before grabbing her stele and drawing the rune onto her hand. With a grunt, she forces her palm toward the celling, emitting an arc of bright light at the demonic smoke billowing out of the vents. The screeching sound the demon (demons?) makes is unexpected, and Underhill finds himself falling to his knees from the loudness of it. It doesn’t last very long, much to everyone’s relief.

“You okay?” he hears Lorenzo ask, offering him a hand and helping him up.

“Yeah, just didn’t see that coming,” he huffs. “Demons aren’t usually that loud.”

“It is odd,” Lorenzo muses, “I don’t think we’re dealing with your everyday demon.”

“What the hell is that?”

Jace is pointing at something on the ground, and everyone turns to look. While the smoke is clear from above them, there is now a large pile of black goop in the middle of the Ops center.

“Here, let me,” Lorenzo offers, stepping forward and summoning his magic to his hands. Underhill resists the urge to grab his arm and pull him away, reminding himself that Lorenzo Rey is the High Warlock for a reason and perfectly capable of defending himself against a dead demon. The thought doesn’t keep him from worrying, however.

Lorenzo is still scanning the ichor on the floor when a call comes in through one of the screens.

“Hey! Is anyone there?”

They all move toward the other side of the room to the video screen to see who’s calling, leaving the High Warlock to his ministrations. It’s Raj, and he looks a little worse for wear, but he’s alive.

“Raj, we’re here. There was an attack at the Institute,” Alec discloses. “What’s going on out there?”

“These demons are _not_ normal,” Raj starts, panting between sentences. “They go down easy, but they don’t stay down. Aline and I were walking away from a kill, the thing was dead, I swear, but then it grabbed Aline by the ankles, and –.”

“Is she okay?” Isabelle asks frantically.

“She’s hurt pretty bad,” Raj says, “The demon was fast. I killed it again, and it finally died for good. I used an iratze on Aline to help with the pain, but she’ll probably be in the infirmary for a while.”

“Don’t let anyone come back here until I say so,” Alec orders, and Raj nods.

“Wait,” Underhill interrupts, “When you killed the demon the first time, how long did it take before it attacked again.”

“I don’t know, maybe five minutes?” Raj answers, “Why?”

“Oh, no,” Underhill murmurs, and his feet are moving before his mind can tell him to take any sort of precaution. Lorenzo is still examining the ichor on the ground, kneeling next to it and scanning it with his magic from up close.

“Lorenzo!” Andrew calls, walking quickly toward the warlock, still too far to reach him, “It’s not dead, you’ve gotta move!”

“What do you mean?” he asks, standing up again, “My magic isn’t reading any – ahh!”

It happens fast, and Underhill’s heart drops straight to the floor. The dead demon is in fact, not yet dead, and the black goop on the ground starts moving, growing, wrapping itself around the closest thing, which just so happens to be Lorenzo’s legs. The warlock’s body is slammed straight to the ground with an ugly _whack_ , and the demon stretches itself around him as if attempting to swallow him whole.

“No!” Andrew screams, running at the demon blade first, ignoring the calls from the others behind him and stabbing at the shapeless demon. The blade goes through like slicing though water, barely making an impact, and Underhill worries for a second that this is it, _this is how I lose the first chance I’ve taken on something more than a fling, the first man I’ve let into his life in years, the first man I might learn to love_ , but then he hears the familiar crackle of Isabelle’s whip before he sees it fly out in front of her, wrapping itself around the demon. The black figure struggles, lashing against the sting of the whip, and Andrew takes the chance to try and pull Lorenzo away from it. Jace runs over and joins him, both men leaning down and pulling the warlock by the arms. It’s more difficult than it should be; the demon is stronger than it looks.

“I can’t hold it much longer!” Isabelle yells, arms stretched out in an attempt to keep the demon still.

An arrow slices past them all and lands in the thick goop, seemingly burning the demon from the inside. The creature lets out another ear-splitting screech, and Jace and Andrew are able to yank Lorenzo’s unconscious body out of the demon’s hold. A bright light envelops them all for a moment, and they all go flying backward as the demon releases one final shriek. Ichor explodes all over the room, and then, there’s silence.

“Everyone okay?” Alec asks, getting to his feet, his jacket dripping with ichor.

“Nice one, Clary,” Jace nods toward the redhead who had once again used her sun rune to defeat the demon once and for all.

“You think it’s actually dead now?” Clary asks, looking at the others.

“It better be,” Isabelle replies, wiping drops of ichor off her forehead.

Someone groans, and Underhill looks over to see Lorenzo coming to, brows furrowed in pain.

“Ren!” he shouts, scrambling to get closer to his boyfriend, hovering over him when he gets there. “Oh, thank the Angel, Ren, are you okay?”

“No,” Lorenzo grunts, trying and failing to sit up, his magic fizzling around his hands, “But I am alive, which I suppose is a good thing.”

“I’m taking you to the infirmary,” Underhill states, then he turns to Alec, “Sir, call Magnus, I want someone to make sure he’s okay.”

Alec nods, pulling out his phone and taking a few steps away to make the call.

“I don’t need Mr. Bane’s assistance,” Lorenzo argues, and Underhill, already overwhelmed by his worry and affection, snaps at him.

“You stubborn warlock, you were just attacked by a demon! You hit your head, I saw it, I _heard_ it, and I know it was bad.”

“Yes, but Andrew, there’s no need for –.”

“You aren’t leaving this building until you get properly assessed, do you hear me? We’re going to help you, and that’s final!”

Lorenzo blinks up at him in surprise, and Underhill can see Jace smirking out of the corner of his eye. “I’d listen to him if I were you,” Jace says teasingly, getting to his feet. “In fact, I’ll get you a gurney.”

“And Clary and I are gonna find something to clean all this up,” Isabelle waves a hand with a frown. “Gross.”

“I can simply magic it away, if you’d like,” Lorenzo offers, and Underhill tuts at him.

“Absolutely not, you’ve done enough.”

Lorenzo sighs, “I barely did anything.”

Underhill hushes him, helping him sit up as Jace rolls the gurney into the room.

“Is this really necessary?” Lorenzo asks.

“Yes,” both shadowhunters respond firmly, helping him up and onto the bed.

…

It’s late by the time they get Lorenzo settled in the infirmary. He gives an official statement on what happened for Alec to put in his files, and is then placed on observation for a few hours to make sure there’s no permanent damage to his magic.

“How do you feel?” Andrew asks, sitting next to Lorenzo’s bed. It’s just them, since Magnus already came in and made sure the High Warlock was okay. He recommended a few days of rest to get his full strength and magic back, and Underhill readily agreed to make sure that’s exactly what he did.

“I feel useless. I didn’t even get a chance to fight,” Lorenzo responds bitterly, looking at his hands and snapping. The magic he summons is weak, fizzing out almost as soon as it appears.

“Stop that,” Andrew scolds, “You’re not useless, Ren.”

“I should have known; I should have seen it coming –.”

“Stop it, the demon took us all by surprise. If it weren’t for Raj’s warning I… I don’t even want to think about what may have happened.”

Lorenzo looks at him then, eyes sincere. “You were truly worried, weren’t you?”

“Uh, yes?” Underhill replies, incredulous, “Lorenzo, you’re my boyfriend. When you’re in danger, I’m going to worry.”

The warlock smiles at him then, and Underhill is reminded once again what he could have lost, and how much he truly cares about the man in front of him. So, because he can, Underhill leans forward and kisses his boyfriend right on the mouth. Lorenzo makes a small surprised noise, but soon relaxes into the kiss, bringing up a hand to caress the side of Andrew’s neck. After a moment, they lean their foreheads together, eyes closed, content with just breathing together.

“I’ll be okay, _cariño_ ,” Lorenzo assures, sliding his fingers through Underhill’s short hair.

“I know,” the Shadowhunter sighs, finally allowing himself to feel relief. _He’s gonna be okay._

“Ah, ha! I called it! Everyone, pay up!”

The two men look up, surprised to see Isabelle smiling confidently, one hand on her hip and the other an open palm held out toward her brothers.

“How do you always know?” Alec mutters under his breath, slapping a few bills into her hand.

“It’s a gift,” she shrugs, “You too, Jace, come on.”

“Dammit,” he grumbles, digging through his pockets, “I knew this would happen.”

“And yet, you bet against me?”

“I refuse to believe that you’re always right.”

“What is going on?” Lorenzo asks, and the Lightwoods turn to face him, looking sheepish.

“Oh, wow, really guys?” Underhill accuses with a laugh, knowing _exactly_ what they’re up to, “You bet on us?”

Lorenzo makes a face, looking from his boyfriend to the Lightwood children, “Bet on us…?”

“Let me explain,” Isabelle says sweetly, walking up to the foot of the bed, “After practically setting up Alec and Magnus myself –.”

Alec lets out a groan that is promptly ignored by his sister.

“— I simply implied that I can always figure out who likes who. Rumor had it that Underhill here had gone on a couple dates with someone, and I did some observing and found the mystery man.”

“Me?” Lorenzo questions, and Izzy nods.

“Alec and Jace simply could not believe that you two were a good match, but I totally called it.”

“Should I take offense to that, sir?” Underhill asks Alec, who shakes his head fondly.

“Absolutely not, pay no mind to us, we’re just being ridiculous. It was childish, I apologize.”

“No need,” Lorenzo assures him, taking Andrew’s hand in his own and smiling at the blonde, “I quite like surprising people.”

Isabelle squeals and claps her hands, “I’m so happy for you both!” she exclaims.

“How about we leave them alone, huh?” Jace suggests.

“Of course,” Izzy agrees, turning with a wave and stepping out into the hallway, Jace following behind with a wink in Underhill’s direction. He’ll have to remember to thank him for that later; alone time with Lorenzo is all he needs right now.

“Do you need anything?” Alec asks before leaving, “I’m gonna visit Aline, then I’ll be in my office for a while. If anything happens, don’t hesitate to send me a message.”

“I think we’re good,” Andrew says, turning toward his boyfriend, “You?”

“I am content for now, but I’ll be sure to let you know if that changes.”

“Babe…” Underhill warns playfully.

“It’s okay,” Alec chuckles, “I’d expect nothing less.”

“Give my thanks to Mr. Bane, will you?”

“I’ll do that,” Alec nods, then he’s out the door, and it’s just the two of them once again.

They sit in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Lorenzo drifts in and out of sleep, and Andrew simply watches him, unabashed. He notices how his nose crinkles between his quiet snores, how relaxed he looks with his hair down, and how even without his fancy suits or his signature ponytail, he still manages to look like art.

“You’re staring again,” the warlock mutters sleepily, eyes still closed.

“How do you know?” Underhill asks, without even a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“I just know,” Lorenzo replies smoothly, cracking one eye open, “I’m a warlock, remember?”

“Mmhmm,” Andrew replies, trying to stifle a yawn, but failing miserably.

“Andrew, you must be exhausted. Why don’t you go home and get some proper rest?”

Underhill scoffs, “No way, and leave you here to portal yourself home and get right back to work? You’re not getting away from me that easily.” He scooches his chair closer to the bed, grabbing Lorenzo’s hand from where it rests on the mattress. He twines their fingers together and lifts their hands to his mouth, kissing the back of the warlock’s knuckles gently.

“Let me be here for you,” he says softly.

“Are you quoting me to me?” Lorenzo asks with a raised brow.

“Maybe,” Underhill teases, continuing to kiss the other man’s hand. “Is it working?”

Lorenzo sighs, “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, _dulzura_ , you can stay.”

They both doze off again after that, with their fingers twisted together and smiles on their faces. Later, Lorenzo is cleared to go home. Andrew stays with him that night, and almost every night after that, too.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i've recently become obsessed with reyhill and i couldn't get this idea out of my head so i cranked out this one shot in 6 hours lmao.  
> head canon: lorenzo calls andrew every spanish petname under the sun and he /loves it/  
> hermoso = handsome  
> cariño = darling  
> dulzura = sweetheart/sweetness  
> hope you enjoy! comments are my favorite thing, feel free to leave one! <3


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